EMPTY SPACE

By Mort Harris
An obscure astronomer recently made a startling discovery. He found an area in outer space that was empty. He ran to his computer and calculated that the empty space was one and a half billion light years across. He published his findings and there was a scramble of searchers rushing to their telescopes to check. When interviewed the astronomer was asked, “How did you realize such an important discovery?”
He said, “When I found there was nothing there, I knew I found something.”
Other astronomers questioned each other. Had they seen the same thing? Some said that they have seen nothing out there. Then that must be it.
When asked the significance of his discovery he said, “if it’s true that there is nothing out there, we could be on the threshold of finding another nothing or possible countless nothings. Someday with this discovery, we may find there is nothing in future explorations.”
Some had trouble seeing the area discussed; they were told they couldn’t see nothing for the star. They were reminded if you can’t see it, that’s it stupid.
There were many photographs taken of the space “Nothing.” Time magazine had a picture of it on its cover. Under the Time caption was a complete cover of “Nothing.”
One artist was so inspired he painted the empty area. It was hung in the gallery. One little boy with his mother asked “what is that?” referring to the painting of nothing.
“What does it look like?” she asked him.
“It looks like nothing,” he replied.
“That’s right” she said, patting him lovingly on the head.
Congratulations came from all over the world to honor the man who contributed “Nothing” to science. It appears now that “Nothing” will be the new frontier. We will be rapidly moving from the Atomic Age into the great new era of “Nothing.”
The astronomer was given the Pulitzer Prize for discovering “Nothing.” He admitted that finding “Nothing” was something. Soon it will be common knowledge. Ask any school boy what he knows about outer space and he will surely reply “Nothing.

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